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In the book, “The Recovery of the True Self,” psychiatrist Robert Phillips states that “all of the animals other than the human animal have an uncomplicated family-life. “Child-rearing” among those animals looks rather simple and straightforward. The offspring are born, they are faithfully fed and fiercely protected for a while, then they are sent out into the world, apparently without sentiment or strings attached.”
We are all in a stage of development and it is important for us to take responsibility for our own power and actions, because we are constantly moving toward or away from healthy behaviors in every moment. Phillips adds that we attempt to naturally be who we are, and we are often conflicted about this: “The answer is to feel and deal.” For example, many of us received contradictory messages such as Don’t Be a Child and Don’t Grow Up at the same time. The appropriate message, which a bird conveys to a baby bird, is, “move out of the nest when you are ready.”
Children are now being increasingly scripted by the virtual world. Susan Linn’s book, “Who’s Raising the Kids?”, outlines the problems of being fed animated information: “More direction from outside means less access to the inner life of imagination and emotion.” Linn (2022) continues: “…a culture that immerses children in consumerism is doing a lousy job of teaching them to value what matters most: meaningful human relationships, love and kindness, awe and wonder, creativity, a connection with nature, and a deep appreciation for that which can’t be packaged, bought, or sold.”
Wilhelm Reich, MD emphasized the mystical and mechanistic aspects of authoritarian society that are transposed from the culture to the parent figures who inculcate the children with: “Human needs are formed, altered, and, in particular, suppressed by society; this process establishes the psychic structure of man.” We are not born with a character structure; it is imposed, and we make adaptive decisions and strategies based on that imposition. We are not born a “human being,” we become one, which in effect destroys our naturalness: “…small children who do not have any sense of shame or disgrace in connection with excretory functions also have no basis in later life on which to develop such genital disturbances.” (Reich, 1934; p. 257)
The infant is not “armored”, which means they do not have an ego or character structure. This formation obstructs and reduces the flow of emotional life energy (blocked). For Reich ,“Man is born free, yet he goes through life as slave.” He adds, “The Kingdom of God [grace, goodness, inner freedom, unitedness] is within you. It was born with you.” Therefore, emotion is the basic energy of life for the human animal (i.e., qi). We must relationally meet fear with reassurance (soothing) and meet sadness with human comfort (holding): “When a child (or adult) is fearful about something in the future (five minutes from now, or Judgment Day, or the possibility of a hurricane) he needs reassurance from accurate statistical information and instructions about safety and recovery.” (Phillips, 1995; p. 157)
Instead of reassurance and embodied experience, corporate culture sells appearance and consumption (buying) as means and ends: “Platforms popular with teens and preteens, like Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube, teach kids to sell themselves—if not for money, then for virtual approval in the form of “likes,” “shares,” “friends,” and “followers.” (Linn, 2022; p. 72) Materialism, individualism, and competition are instantiated in the culture. This is what Linn calls the “hyper-commercialization” of children. The mythical idea that possessions equal happiness. Additionally, Big Tech is hooking both children and their parents via “ed-tech.” However, “excessive screen time is harmful to children’s health and development.” (e.g., diminished language development).
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends 0 minutes of screen time for babies up to 18 months and toddlers (18 months to 2 years old) should have a minimal amount and only with an adult present. Preschoolers should have no more than 1 hour per day and school age children no more than 2 hours per day (Linn, 2022 p. 43, 209). Hyper-commercialization pacifies children, and it also comes at the cost of creativity: “For every hour preschoolers spend watching a screen, they spend 45 minutes less in creative play. Babies and toddlers lose even more time in creative play than their older brothers and sisters lose—52 minutes for every hour of TV.” In short, a commercialized culture has values of envy, selfishness, unthinking, impulsivity, lack of empathy, and disregard for the common good (Linn, 2022; p. 42, 225-226). Linn goes on that the more a toy/device can do, the less a child needs to do.
Parents need to read to their infants and into childhood because it provides a time to cuddle together. When we restrict the virtual world from them, we need to talk about the choices and values regarding Tech. Linn adds that we must be skeptical of “educational” apps and “free” (freemiums) apps. She advises choosing commercial-free apps and to postpone smartphones until at least 8th grade: Our basic human need is human contact, so we need to reduce our own screentime as well. (Screenfree.org).
Recorded on 8/16/2023
References
Linn, S. (2022). Who’s raising the kids?: Big Tech, Big Business, and the lives of children. The New Press: New York.
Phillips, R.D. (1995). The recovery of the true self: The human animal in and out of therapy. Medicine Wheel Publications: Chapel Hill, N.C.
Reich, W. (1983). Children of the future: On the prevention of sexual pathology. Translations by Dereke and Inge Jordan and Beverly Placzek. Edited by Mary Higgins and Chester M. Raphael, MD. Farrar, Straus, Giroux: New York. (originally published in 1950 by Orgone Institute Press).
Reich, W. (1949). The sexual revolution: Toward a self-regulating character structure. Translated by Therese Pol (4th edition). Farrar, Straus, Giroux: New York. (orig. pub. in 1934)
Reich, W. (1953). The murder of Christ: The emotional plague of mankind. The Noonday Press a division of Farrar, Straus, Giroux: New York. (orig. written in 1951)
Twenge, J. M. (2017). iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy – and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood. New York: Atria Books.
Visit MankatoTherapist.com for more information and to contact Andrew Archer.